By David E.J.A. Bennett


The commissioner of the Metropolitan Police is urging the media and the public to refer to ‘terrorists’ as ‘poofters’ and ‘batty boys’ in the new counter-terrorism rhetoric.

“This new classification” said the commissioner, “is double-edged, really. Firstly, we are giving any wannabe terrorists an undesirable moniker; and secondly, we are reclaiming extant, but outdated, homophobic slurs and taking their aim away from the gay community.”

This is a bold move by the Met police, as there is a danger the loony-left PC-brigade may claim that the Met is associating terrorism with being gay.

“This is more about reclaiming words than anything…” the commissioner continued, “the Met has a zero-tolerance policy towards discrimination, but those ‘woolly-woofters’ (formally known as ‘terrorists’) who try to destroy our way of life through violence deserve to be discriminated against!”

The infamous hate preacher, Anjem Choudhry, is said to have ‘thrown a massive hissy fit’ upon hearing the news: he is quoted as saying “this is the type of discrimination one comes to expect in Britain. First, it’s the anti-hate stuff, and now my sexuality is being brought into question? Disgraceful.”

The campaign group ‘Equality for Jihad’ are thought to be arranging a peaceful protest for later this week, and, in conjunction with Facebook, have set up a profile picture filter for those who wish to demonstrate against the perceived discrimination on social media.

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